I am now in the middle of reading “Couplehood”, written by Paul Reiser. Ya, Paul Reiser. He is the one who playing “Mad About You”, with Helen Hunt, my favorite actress after Meg Ryan. The TV shows, one of TV show, that I loved. As far as I know Paul Reiser as well as Stand Up Comedian.
That are several interesting items I noted from this book.
First, it is very economical. It is very very cheap. For import book, with hard cover and jacket, and also with light import paper, its only cost as 48grand rupiah. Hm.Wondering the price in US and Canada, I just count it by the price tag. Wow. Good for my pocket to find it here.
Second, the first page is starting at p.145. Yes, not from 1. Paul already explains that. You know, the main reason is, because when somebody asks, what page you are now. You can answer it proudly, o yeah, nice book baby, at page 150. So you can think the impression of yourself would be increase. The fact? It is only 5 pages away from beginning..
Third, well, during reading the earlier pages of this book, I’ve keep thinking about the title. Couplehood. Even the thesaurus in this software marks it in red.
It is something, all about couple, the environment about couple, I guess.
Just like neighborhood, that is all things you may say about your neighbor and its environment. So, you might say as well a childrenhood, womanhood, workinghood, and more specific about kitchenhood, bathroomhood… so that is?
Hum, like we allow making our own new word. But this term, couplehood, definitely telling exactly what Paul wants to tell to us, about couple.
Don’t ever think that the book is telling you about good things in couplehood. It is mostly talking about the craziness in couplehood. I just amazing that Paul able to throw all these words into this book. It is a great book. Just for you that want to know about how to get closer with your couple.
For me, it is more likely to untied man’s thought. Yes, indeed. In this book, definitely Paul is telling us, hey you women, about what does man think about all creepy little details in the marriage.
You will glad and laugh to read this. LOL.
You mostly read and see about sentence like this: I woke up in the morning, and after few seconds I got up, and went to the bathroom.
He is describing in details, about the “few seconds”. What would you do in that “few seconds”. What would man do, or think, in that “few seconds”. He describes in details, about how to get up from bed in very badly, and how you never want to get up from that bed, forever. That’s what man wants.
He also tells us, about what man wants when he is waiting woman for going somewhere.
In this book, I do really waken-up, that men, really has no such a feeling of something like we do, women do. He almost do everything base on logic, and yeah, no reason.
The most comfortable place for men is, Leave-Me-Alone cave.
Never doubt that.
Actually I already know it, from deeply understanding my husband. But why, something inside me keep telling me for, change him. Told him to do this, asked him to handle this, push him to understand this.
And he did, they did. But now I figure it out, that he, or every men in this world, would do it without any feeling, not “with all my heart” like women do. They just do. Okay. Sure. Just to avoid any arguments and fights. We might be thinking that, oooh, noo, I hate you. If you did that once again, I will leave you.
So? He doesn’t bother that. He never thinks deeply thing like that.
In fact, we never leave them.
One quote that I love to share from this book is:
“Marriage is just an elaborate game that allows two selfish people to periodically feel that they’re not.” (Couplehood, Paul Reiser, p.186)
Elaborate? Yes.
Game? Well, hell no. Please don’t. Make it as real. You on it.
Two selfish people? Yes, indeed.
Periodically feel that they’re not? Hum. For me, that is periodically repeat and shares their stubborn and stupid things they have.
Like my friend, Eka Lidya Panjaitan ever said: Marriage is about repeating problems.
Well, sure. But don’t we should cure between jumps from one problem to another?
Like my friend, Ahmad Benyamid ever said: Only donkey ever repeat the mistakes twice.
Are we a donkey? Haha. Please don’t. Let’s be human.
And it needs progress, for our changing in life. So I think, it is better if one problem in couplehood, would not ever, repeat again in the future.
That’s for the ideal condition.
Further, Paul explains lot of things about man and woman relationship as a couple. Just about when you are only couple, means you are not married, and when you are already engaged with your soulmate in a marriage.
Paul keeps comparing how men do when they are single with when they are now in marriage. Foolish, but funny. He just says in this book that most man is distracted with what woman want in the marriage.
And that is including all factors. Let’s say, about going out together. About what you cooked tonight for dinner, or what we gonna eat tonight for dinner.
About what you are going to wear daily. How about they, man, not interrupted with these kinds of things when single, and so so annoyed when they change their status to marriage. About having pleasure in bed, yes, he describes it. But really in difference words, nothing will come up after read it. You only do is laugh. Just imagine, the chapter about this thing is titled as “Bing Bang Boom”.
Some other sides in this book eventually not fit with our habit in Indonesia. Or I don’t know, just not fit with my habit, might be. In some chapter, he wrote about couple when discussing other people. Discussing other people means with starring at them, talking about their act, and wondering what they will do next. Hm. I think it is about time to leave that kind of behavior, don’t we? Let’s preparing our self to well-behave, and try to not perform this kind of habit anymore. That’s work for me. Not bothering others, so they did not bother us.
Interesting. More pages I passed, more knowledge I found. Just about to separate it to what we should be taken or not. But the most thing I did when I read this book, is laugh. Yes, it is funny. So relaxing. And the words is so easy to read. Nice book.
And one more thing. Reading this book is likely watch Paul Reiser when perform his Stand-In Comedian.
So glad I found this book. Because, in every minute I spend with this book, I feel more and more understanding God creature’s named: man.

Puspogiwang, November 6th, 2008. 9:49 am